37家人 Family – Harmony & Trust
家人 风火家人 巽上离下
This hexagram has the Wind trigram on top of the Fire trigram. It represents family. The inner Fire flows outward as Wind signifying people staying together first in the home and then moving out to work. The bottom trigram, representing the interior, has a Yin (Female) line at the center showing woman must take charge of the internal affairs of a family. The upper trigram, representing the exterior, has a Yang (Male) line at the center showing man should be in charge of external affairs. The husband/Father goes out to work and brings in the food for the Wife/Mother to manage the family matters, taking good care of the children and her husband.
Description:
- 利女贞: It is beneficial for the lady to persevere in righteousness and purity.
(From the context of this hexagram, we can say that Ladies playing their roles well in family affairs bring benefits).
Textual Commentary:
彖曰：家人，女正位乎内，男正位乎外，男女正，天地之大义也。 家人有严君焉，父母之谓也。父父，子子，兄兄，弟弟，夫夫，妇妇， 而家道正；正家而天下定矣。
The right position for the lady is handling internal matters. The right position for man is handling eternal affairs. This is the righteous way of the Heaven and Earth. In the family, the father and mother are in charge of discipline. Every member must be responsible for his role – father as father, son as a son, elder as an elder, younger as younger, husband as a husband, wife as a wife. When everyone lives out their role well the family will be harmonious and do well. Put the families in order and the world will be at peace.
Pictorial Commentary: 象曰：风自火出，家人；君子以言有物，而行有恒。
The wind comes from Fire, that is family. Wise men speak with substance and their behavior is consistent (with their words. They have good habits of behavior).
Moral Teachings:
- Ladies are in charge of the internal matters of the family. Men are to be responsible for external affairs. Men are to build a good business. Ladies are to build good homes for the family.
- Society is built upon families. When families are harmonious and well, society will be at peace. Why? The children are well brought up. The men are working well and contributing to society and families. There will be no lawless behavior. Everyone will be well-kept.
- Parents are responsible for disciplining their children and bringing them up well. They cannot pass their responsibilities to teachers in schools, grandparents, maids, or the society at large.
- Each member must recognize their position, and the responsibilities associated with the position and do their parts well. Unity is not sameness or uniformity. Unity is a synergy of differences for a common objective – the well-being of the family.
- Women have a very important role to play. It is important for her to take charge of the family and home affairs. They have to persevere in their roles and that will bring benefits.
Stage 1 Being Nine: There is leisure at home. There is no regrets or correction needed. 初九：闲有家，悔亡。
The pictorial commentary explains there is leisure in the home because the ambition has not changed. 象曰：闲有家，志未变也。
When the lady of the house runs the home well with all members playing their rightful roles, there is peace and leisure. There is no other desire better for her than a harmonious and joyful family. Many problems in the family are caused by members not understanding their roles and trying to cross boundaries. The order of the home must be set by the parents and monitored by the wife.
Stage 2 Second Six: There is nothing to pursue. There is food in the midst. It is truly full of blessings. 六二：无攸遂，在中馈，贞吉。
The pictorial commentary says the blessings of the wife (literally, the 2nd line of the hexagram) are because she is soft and follows like the wind. 象曰：六二之吉，顺以巽也。
When the lady of the home pursues the right ways of running the family instead of trying to do her own things, the home will be in order. There will be food in the house. There are other commentators who say the wife follows the husband’s wishes. The Bible, in Ephesian, does teach that wives should submit their husbands (note: not any man but their husbands only) and at the same time teaches that husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church ( by giving His life for the church!). Under such wife-respect and husband-love situations, the family should be in good order. There will be foods that not only satisfy the tummies but also the souls of the members of the families because the foods are prepared lovingly by the wife/mother. What a blessing. Chinese have a famous saying, 家和万事兴, harmonious family causes everything things to prosper.
Stage 3 Third Nine: There is scolding in the family. Strict correction brings fortune. Ladies and children are playful and giggle. The ending is regretful. 九三：家人嗃嗃，悔厉吉；妇子嘻嘻，终吝。
The pictorial commentary explains that the scolding shows no lack of discipline. The playfulness and giggles show a loss of family discipline 象曰：家人嗃嗃，未失也；妇子嘻嘻，失家节也。
Discipline brings forth order. The typical problem in a family is not a lack of knowledge of the discipline but poor execution. The discipline is loose thereby creating a lack of respect for the rules. The parents tell the child if he or she does not come to dinner there will be no food for him or her. However, an hour or two later, when the child cries for food, they give in and feed him. Such action tells the child that he or she need not believe what the parents say. Loose discipline creates a mockery of the rules.
Stage 4 Fourth Six: The family is complete and rich. Great fortune and blessing. 六四：富家，大吉。 The pictorial commentary explains the great blessing is due to everyone following his or her role well. 象曰：富家大吉，顺在位也。
When everyone in the family
- shares the commitment to the well-being of the family (see the family as him and him as the family) and
- plays his or her part well,
the family will be harmonious and bring forth joy and blessings of all kinds.
Richness is not just in money or wealth but wellness. It is completeness in health, wealth, and good relationships.
Stage 5 Fifth Nine: The King treats his country as if his large family. There is no worry. Blessing. 九五：王假有家，勿恤吉。
The pictorial commentary explains the King acts as if the country as a big family is the interaction and exchanges of love. 象曰：王假有家，交相爱也。
The love within a family can be extended and applied to a country. If the King treats his citizens as if his family members, there will be great blessings and the country will prosper. We should apply this concept to our business and treat the employees of the company as members of one big family. The company should be seen as the 2nd home of its employees.
Stage 6 Top Nine: The power of trust is widespread (or Trusts pervade everywhere). It ends with good fortune. 上九：有孚威如，终吉。
The pictorial commentary explains that the fortune of respect comes from an examination of our lives from others’ view; from self-centric to others-centric. 象曰：威如之吉，反身之谓也。
Any good relationship is built and sustained on trust. The synergy of differences is only possible when there is trust. Trust is built from everyone having integrity and open and transparent communications. Integrity is more than just being honest. Integrity includes the delivery of promises. To ensure sustained good fortune in any organization, build trust.
Stephen Covey of 7 Habits wrote a book titled “The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything”. He clearly understands the meaning of this stage line well. The book also teaches about how to build trust and creditability.
The business also operates on trust between us and our customers, us and our staff, us and our suppliers, and us and our owners or boards. Customers buy our products or services because they trust us to deliver what we promise them. When we have this trusting relationship, it will last and we will have your loyal customers.
It is interesting to note that the highest stage line for the family is Trust and the pronouncement is it ends with good fortune. Most hexagrams’ highest line calls for a change of state. This one calls for sustaining it. The stage lines also tell us how to build trust in a family or any organization. See Hexagram 61 中孚 Integrity too.
Summary:
Ladies are in charge of family or home affairs. Men are responsible for external affairs, careers, and business. Each member of the family must know and play their roles well so that the whole family can prosper in wholeness. Society will be at peace. Disciplines are the responsibilities of parents. They cannot pass their responsibilities to the maids, grandparents, teachers in schools, or society at large.
Wisdom from the Stage Lines:
- Orderliness brings leisure.
- Everyone is to play his/her role well.
- Discipline must be exercised strictly.
- Shared Goals and a Harmonious Family bring great blessings
- Extend your concept of family to the organization and to society.
- Trust is the glue that brings continued blessing.
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