24 January 2015

U SAID it - Your New Year Wish

Wishing you a happy and prosperous New Year has not any assurance that you will get them. It is only good manners that may perhaps bring some little happiness and optimism to you. However, giving you the know how to be happy and successful may indeed make your New Year Wish come true. The actions you need to take is captured in U-SAID. Here are the details:
 USAID stands for Unload, Stop, Add, Increase and Decrease.

Unload - Bring Closure to Your hurtful Past.
The better life for the New Year begins with Unloading. You can't move forward easily until you unload your heavy loads, accmulated in the past, all the way from the day you were born til now. Some of the loads are:
  • hurtful experience, rejection, abuses, bullied, cursed, violence in family, abortion, etc.
    Need healing for the hurt, guilt and also forgiveness, even of self.
  • lies - May be due to the hurtful and bad experience, certain incorrect mindsets are formed such as 'I am a useless nobody or a loser or a failure',  'Men are big bullies', 'Money will solve all problems", "I need to be loved to feel worthy" etc.
    Find the lies (the assumptions, the limitations, the prejudices) and replace the lies with truth. May be need to find the truth first and then the lies will be exposed and self-destruct.
STOP doing the harmful and evil things.
Dr Henry Cloud wrote Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again" and here is the NEVER DO list from his introduction:
  1. Return to what hasn’t worked
  2. Do anything that requires you to be someone else
  3. Try to change another person
  4. Believe that you can please everyone
  5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit
  6. Trust someone or something flawless
  7. Take your eyes off the big picture
  8. Neglect to do due diligence
  9. Fail to ask why you are where you are
  10. Forget that your inner life produces your outer success
ADD new fruitful and strategic things to do.
Fruits are the produce of your inner virtues like love, righteousness, wisdom, etc. You must first find out your own purpose in life and the values that you believe in. Write out your personal mission statement; your motto in life. With a mission, you can tell what are strategic and important things to do  .... those that accomplish your mission are strategic. Those that contribute nothing or even lead you away from your mission are unimportant or distractions that you should stop.

INCREASE those strategic activities.
With your mission defined, you can quickly find out the many good things that you have be doing. Do more of such strategic things. But you may complain that where can you find such more time and resources to do more? Extra time and resources can be found in the stopping of harmful and unfruitful activities and also in the following:

DECREASE those essential but not contributing to mission activities.
Many things are needful, such as eating and being healthy. But they are not sufficient in achieving your mission.  Any champions, be they in sports or in academia, need more than just being healthy. Excessive eating and exercises do not make anyone healthier. DECREASE such activities to the minimum levels to free up resources for the strategic things. This process is known as PRUNING.

Here is a mind-map that summarized the above and apply SAID into relationship building. STOP harmful relationships, ADD new helpful relationships, INCREASE uplifting relationships and DECREASE or maintain necessary relationships.
Before the Chinese New Year, 19 Feb 2015, can you Unload and bring closure to your past hurts and lies, and list down a set of activities to Stop, Add, Increase and Decrease. You don't need a big list, but just one or two in each categories. When you have done them, review again to come out with the next 1 or 2 activites for SAID.

Don't wish but rather be sure to take the USAID actions and have a better year ahead.

Lim Liat (c) 23-1-2015

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