20 November 2023

Strong Nation, Great Man, Wise Wife, and True Love

From my blog reproduced here https://bvotech.com/blog/strong-nation-great-man-wise-wife-and-true-love/ with some corrections..."Strong Nation, Great Man, Wise Wife, and True Love".

Reflection on the Passing of Our Founding Father Lee Kuan Yew

I think the best tribute to show our appreciation and respect for our founding father is to follow his example, and continue to build and grow upon this foundation that he has laid for us. Here are a few key things that I can learn and do —- pursue wisdom and righteousness, be bold to do them and stick to them, willing to take advice and be corrected especially to share and listen to your wife and love your wife truly.

During this period of mourning for our nation's founding father Lee Kuan Yew, every one of us, in our own, even little, ways wish to express our appreciation and respect for the man who has impacted our lives much.  There was this artist Ong Yi Tech who painted a portrait of Lee Kuan Yew by writing his name! See Lee Kuan Yew is a ‘legend’: Man behind the viral portrait.  Since my interests are in Chinese Philosophies and their applications in modern management (see Ancient Chinese Wisdom), I shall show my respect and appreciation from such a viewpoint.

The Life of a Great Man is much Longer than his Age
Lao Zi’s DaoDeJing Chapter 33 verse 4 has a saying: (for more see The Principles for Greatness)

  • Not losing oneself will last. 不失其所者久,
  • Died and yet one’s legacy continues is long life. 死而不亡者寿。

While our founding father may have passed away, his legacies and his influence will continue on through many generations after. He will always be remembered as the founding father of Singapore. He and his team will always be cited as examples for all to follow. Legacies come from sticking to one’s values and mission. Despite the difficulties, and the risks, and against all odds, under his leadership, Singapore succeeded. There are many great things that he did and many people will write about that. One particular and vital key to his success was the support of his extremely wise and talented wife and their true love for each other. See The Lee Kuan Yew And Kwa Geok Choo Love Story … The post has the title “Behind every successful man there stands a woman“.

While not many will be as wise and great as Mr. Lee, there are simple lessons that we can learn from him and apply to our own lives and make whatever small contributions that we can. Chinese has a proverb “勿以恶小而为之,勿以善小而不为。 –《三国志·蜀书·先主传》”
Do not do something because the harm/evil is small nor
fail to do something because the benefits are little.

There are four lessons for us:

  1. pursue wisdom and stick to righteous values.
  2. be bold to execute and realize one’s dreams despite the challenges.
  3. be ever ready to seek and listen to advice, especially one’s wife.
  4. love one’s wife truly.
In my study of China's history, one particular emperor and his wife had a similar story to tell. It confirms the applicability of the above lessons. It is the story of Emperor Tang TaiZong 唐太宗 and his wife Queen ZhangSun 长孙皇后。

Emperor Tang TaiZong Li ShiMin 唐太宗 李世民 and his wife Queen ZhangSun 长孙皇后
While Tang TaiZong was the 2nd emperor of the Tang Dynasty 唐朝, he was actually the son who encouraged his father to rebel against the oppressive Sui Emperor. He was the one who planned, fought, and won the many battles that established the Tang Dynasty.  He was one of the few emperors who founded and then ran the kingdom well. The period under his rule, popularly known as, 贞观之治, is one of the most powerful, prosperous, and peaceful periods in China's History.  China towns in many countries are called Tang Ren Jie 唐人街 Streets of the Tang’s people.  We can see the success and influence of Tang. Tang dynasty with 291 years was also one of the longer-lasting dynasties of China. It was also the period where women had the most freedom and were most well-educated.  The only Empress in China, Empress Wu, was in this period.  One of the key contributors to Tang TaiZong's success was his wife ZhangSun.

Queen ZhangSun was one of the best queens in Ancient China. She was well-educated and married at 13 years old to Li ShiMin who was 16 then. This was before they started the rebellion against the Sui Emperor. So, we know that ZhangSun took good care of and encouraged Li ShiMin in the challenging times of war to establish the Tang Dynasty. ZhangSun later helped ShiMin to overcome the murderous attempts of his brothers to become the 2nd Emperor of Tang. Even after she became queen, she still stuck to being frugal and loving. She refused to meddle in the political affairs of the country even though her husband has often consulted her. Her advice to the Emperor is:
  • “居安思危,任贤纳谏而已,其它妾就不了解了。”
  • When living in security, think about the probable dangers.
    Appoint the talented and listen to criticisms.
    I do not understand other things at all.

Once, the Emperor was very angry about his officer stopping him from hunting in the spring season because it was the period for animals mating and feeding the babies, ZhangSun got her ladies all dressed up in official ceremony dresses to congratulate the Emperor. The Emperor was surprised and asked why. She said that she heard that only the wise and good king can have his officers who dare to advise him. Now that there is an officer who did that, it shows that he was a wise king indeed. That made the Emperor very happy.

Her son complained to his nanny that he did not have enough things to enjoy. ZhangSun said, “为太子,患在德不立,名不扬,何患无器用邪! As a prince, the concern is about not having the right virtues, not being well-regarded, why care about not having enough things to enjoy?”. She rejected the request.

Her love for ShiMin was seen with her care for ShiMin and readiness to die with him. ShiMin was sick for a long period of time and she stayed with him day and night. She carried with her a bag of poison all the time. She was prepared to take the poison once ShiMin died! (上得疾,累年不愈,后侍奉,昼夜不离侧。常系毒药于衣带,曰:“若有不讳,义不独生。”)

On her deathbed, she requested the Emperor to give her a simple funeral and not to waste money on building a great grave. She said she did not contribute anything in her life and should at least not harm people in her death. She reminded the Emperor to be close to the good man, distance himself from the villain, accept corrections, reject gossip, not labor with the people, and stop traveling & hunting for pleasures (妾生无益于人,不可以死害人,愿勿以丘垄劳费天下,但因山为坟,器用瓦木而已。仍愿陛下亲君子,远小人,纳忠谏,屏谗慝,省作役,止游畋,妾虽没于九泉,诚无所恨! 儿女辈不必令来,见其悲哀,徒乱人意。” – 资治通鉴).

The sad thing was that ZhangSun did not live long. She died in the 10th year of the reign of ShiMin at the young age of 36! Li Shin Min was very blessed to find another young, brilliant, and righteous lady XuHui 徐惠妃. Like ZhangSun, she was able to remind and advise ShiMin not to waste resources on fighting wars and building palaces. Her famous words to ShiMin were “故有道之君,以逸逸人.

无道之君,以乐乐身. A Good King ensures his people live in comfort but a bad king only selfishly enjoys himself (at the expense of his people)”. XuHui loved ShiMin so much that when ShiMin died, she fell ill and refused the medicines offered. She died as she wished one year later at the young age of 24! It goes without saying that we are truly touched by these loving relationships.

Strong Nation, Great Leader, and Loving & Wise Wife
A Strong and prosperous nation is built by a great leader. A great leader has a wise and loving wife. He loves and appreciates his wife's advice and corrections if any. Let me end with a quote from Mr Lee on marriages:

  • We have never allowed the other to feel abandoned and alone in any moment of crisis. Quite the contrary, we have faced all major crises in our lives together, sharing our fears and hopes, and our subsequent grief and exultation. These moments of crisis have bonded us closer together. With the years, the number of specialties which we two have shared have increased.

Let's Do Our Part:
I think the best tribute to show our appreciation and respect for our founding fathers is to follow his example and continue to build and grow upon this foundation that he has laid for us. Let every one of us contribute in whatever small way that we can towards the continued growth and well-being of Singapore and our fellow men and women.

I shall offer an amended wording as follows:
behind every great man is a wise woman who loves him much and who he appreciates and listens to”.

May the legacies and the contributions of our founding father Lee Kuan Yew continue through all generations.

Lim Liat (c) 23 March 2015

27 October 2023

Learning from Viktor E. Frankl “Man's Search For Meaning”

Learning from Viktor E. Frankl “Man's Search For Meaning” All + All -

Learning from Viktor E. Frankl “Man's Search For Meaning”




  • + - 1 Choose your Response & Not react with your Dino- Brain


    • The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance.


  • + - 2 Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional

    痛苦难免 煎熬可免

    • Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.


      所以有人说 “痛苦是不可避免的,但受苦是可选择的”

  • + - 3 Find the Meaning


    • In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.


    • There is much wisdom in the words of Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how”


  • + - 4 Change Our Attitude


    • + - “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”


  • + - 5 Discover Your Life's Purpose


    • “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”


  • + - 6 Learn from Past Mistakes


    • “Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now.”

      Live as if you are experiencing life for the second time, having learned from the mistakes of your first attempt, and apply that wisdom to your present actions.


  • + - 7 Paradox of Happiness


    • Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.


    • “When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.”


    • “Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”


    • + - Find Your Baloon:
      • A teacher gave a balloon to every student, who had to inflate it, write their name on it and throw it in the hallway. The teacher then mixed all the balloons. The students were then given 5 minutes to find their own balloon. Despite a hectic search, no one found their balloon.
      • At that point, the teacher told the students to take the first balloon that they found and hand it to the person whose name was written on it. Within 5 minutes, everyone had their own balloon.
      • The teacher said to the students: "These balloons are like happiness. We will never find it if everyone is looking for their own. But if we care about other people's happiness, we'll find ours too."
      • May your day be filled with happiness. ❤️
  • + - 8 Use the Time Well


    • “The pessimist resembles a man who observes with fear and sadness that his wall calendar, from which he daily tears a sheet, grows thinner with each passing day. On the other hand, the person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it neatly and carefully away with its predecessors, after first having jotted down a few diary notes on the back. He can reflect with pride and joy on all the richness set down in these notes, on all the life he has already lived to the fullest.”


成功的人生 - 从萌萌视觉笔记的《认知觉醒》加入圣经经节

《认知觉醒》 萌萌视觉笔记 + 圣经经节 Lim Liat 27-10-23 All + All -

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《认知觉醒》 萌萌视觉笔记 + 圣经经节 Lim Liat 27-10-23


      最近看到一个好书,《认知觉醒》,还有萌萌视觉笔记的为这本书画出了许多思维导图形的画。非常好。圣经也有它的成长模式 - 属灵的人。我就把圣经的经节加入我从萌萌视觉笔记整理的思维导图,把圣经和科学放在一起。希望对读者更有帮助。

  • + - 一、大脑: 一切问题的起源 - 焦虑,没耐心


    • + - 理智脑
      • + - 成长是理智脑变强, 收复天性


        • + - 1 面对天性, 坦然接纳自己
          • 当表现急躁,焦虑,不耐烦都不要自责,理解自己


        • + - 2 面对诱惑, 变对抗为沟通
          • 舒适区和诱惑是本能脑和情绪脑的最爱,学会沟通

            温和地告诉它们:“享受不会少,只是不是现在,而是在完成重要的事情之后。” 延迟享受它们是可以接受的。

        • + - 3 面对困难, 主动改变视角
          • 探索根源原理,主动改变认知视角,找到行动的意义和好处


            最高级的方法是,让本能脑和情绪脑感受到做某件事情的乐趣并且上瘾,从而主动解决问题 面对困难,这是理智脑的最高级策略。

        • + - 圣经
          • + - Galatians 5:16
            • "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."


          • + - Gal 5:17
            • "For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."


          • + - Romans 8:5-6
            • "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace."

              (8:5-6)  5因为随从肉体的人体贴肉体的事,随从圣灵的人体贴圣灵的事。 6体贴肉体的,就是死;体贴圣灵的,乃是生命、平安。

          • + - Romans 8:13
            • "For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live."

              (8:13) 你们若顺从肉体活着,必要死;若靠着圣灵治死身体的恶行,必要活着。

          • + - 1 John 2:16
            • "For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world."

              (2:16) 因为凡世界上的事,就象肉体的情慾,眼目的情慾,并今生的骄傲,都不是从父来的,乃是从世界来的。

    • 情绪脑
    • 本能脑
    • 动物的天性
    • 目光短浅
    • 要及时满足
    • + - 焦虑
      • + - 想同时做很多事+又想立即看到效果
        • 人的天性是避难趋易,急于求成
      • + - 解决方法
        • 1 面对现实-看清自己的真实水平
        • 2 接受环境-在局限中做力所能及的事
        • 3 克制欲望-不要让自己同时做很多事
        • 4 要事优先-想办法只做重要的事
        • 5 直面核心-狠逼自己一把突破它
      • + - Philippians 4:6-7
        • "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
    • + - 没耐心
      • + - 解决方法
        • + - 复利曲线模型
          • compound interest curve
        • + - 学习的平台期模型
          • Learning Model.png
        • + - 舒适区边缘模型
          • Comfort-Stretch-Panic Zones
      • 耐心不是毅力带来的结果,而是具有长远目光的结果。
      • + - (Prov 14:29)
        • "Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly."
        • 不轻易发怒的,大有聪明;性情暴躁的,大显愚妄。
      • + - James 1:19-20
        • "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
    • + - Philippians 2:13
      • "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."
  • + - 二、潜意识: 生命留给我们的彩蛋 - 恐惧来自模糊


    • + - 1 消除认知模糊
      • 提升思考能力,不断明确核心困难和心得感悟,并专注于此
    • + - 2 消除情绪模糊
      • 正视它,看清它,拆解他,化解它,不给它模糊的机会,即使已经进入潜意识,也要挖出来。
    • + - 3 消除行动模糊
      • 思考让后拥有足够清晰的目标,把目标和过程细化,具体化。
    • + - Subconscious Mind:
      • Subconscious mind is rooted in psychology.
      • operates below the level of conscious awareness.
      • includes automatic processes, memories, and desires that influence behavior but may not be immediately accessible to conscious thought.
  • + - 三、元认知: 人类的终极能力 - 反思的能力而成长


    • Metacognition allows individuals to monitor and control their cognitive processes.
    • + - 1 从过去获取
      • 学习前人智慧,反思自身经历(书)
    • + - 2 自身经历
      • 每天做反思和复盘
    • + - 3 动态启动认知
      • 让元认知一直监控自己,就能审视自己,跳出来
    • + - 4 冥想
      • 静坐,放松身体,把注意力集中在呼吸和感受上
  • + - 四、专注力:情绪和智慧的交叉地带 - 活在当下,忘记背后,向标杆直跑


    • 始终在拉伸区练习
    • 练习时极度专注
    • 大量的练习
    • 定义明确的目标 - 目标太大,分解吃小目标

       歌罗西3:2  "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." 你们要思念上面的事,不要思念地上的事。

    • + - 获得有效的反馈 - 又教练或老师指导
      • + - Psalm 119:105
        • "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."
    • (Phil 3:12) 这不是说我已经得着了,已经完全了;我乃是竭力追求,或者可以得着基督耶稣所要我得的)。...就是忘记背后,努力面前的,向着标竿直跑,要得神在基督耶稣里从上面召我来得的奖赏。
  • + - 五、学习力: 学习不是一味地努力
    • + - 1 获取高质量的知识
      • + - Proverbs 1:5
        • "Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance."
      • + - James 1:5
        • "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
    • + - 2 深度缝接新知识
      • + - Romans 12:2
        • "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
    • 3 用自己的语言文字教授他人
    • + - 学习金字塔
      • 从听-演示-讨论-实践-传授他人;
    • + - 建构知识体系
      • Link New Knowledge to A Framework.
    • + - 主动休息
      • 科学的学习模式=极度专注+主动休息
      • + - Mark 6:31
        • "Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he [Jesus] said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'"
      • + - Matthew 11:28-30
        • "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
      • + - Psalm 46:10
        • "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'"
      • + - Isaiah 30:15
        • "This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.'"
  • + - 六、行动力: 没有行动,世界只是个概念
    • 1 初始阶段很重要 -先做重要的事,进入正向增强。
    • 2 过程提升清晰力 - 计划和进度
    • + - 3 不要想看到结果再行动
      • Increase Active Power.png
    • + - James 2:17
      • "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
    • + - Mat 7:24-27
      • "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
  • + - 七、情绪力: 情绪是多角度看问题的智慧
    • + - 改善坏脾气
      • 越是亲近的人越容易跟他们发脾气。有时候发脾气兜不住火,但事后又很后悔。多视角看待问题能够让人们变得更为平和智慧。
      • 1 勤移动 - 站在不同视角看问题
      • 2 善学习 - 多学习,站在高人的视角观察世界
      • 3 要开发 - 不带主观色彩 想办法了解事实
      • 4 寻帮助 - 借助他人的多维视角克服单一视角局限
      • 5 多移动 - 提升体内多巴胺,从负面情绪走出来。
      • 6 常反思 - 写下心中烦恼 可以看到更多维度
    • \
    • + - Ephesians 4:26-27
      • "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
    • + - Galatians 5:22-23
      • "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law."
  • + - 八、早 冥 读 写 跑,人生五件套 - 成本最低的成长之道
    • 早起、冥想、阅读、写作和运动,养成这5个习惯
    • 冥想:闭眼静坐;专注于自己的呼吸;每天持续15分钟以上。
    • + - 阅读:
      • 1 先学会选书 - 什么是当前最需要解决的问题?选择难度刚好的书
      • + - 2 阅读为了改变
        • 阅读后的思考,思考后的实践比阅读本身更重要。
      • + - 3 高阶读书法
        • 注意阅读时产生的关联
        • 读写不分家
    • + - 写作:
      • 1 聊天一样写作。让文章显得自然,不说教。

      • 2 使用类比 让别人能更好地理解。
      • 3 用自己语言表达和转述
    • + - 灵修:
      • 1 每天进行安静的固定时间。2 祷告 3 阅读的经文。4 冥想:反思你所阅读的经文。5 写日记:记下你的思想、祈祷以及在反思 6 使用其他资源 7 安静和倾听 8 感恩:9 应用:将学到的应用到生活中。思考具体的行动或态度上的改变。

14 October 2023

灵修格言 by Ps James Lee 李科宏牧师

Ps James Lee 李科宏牧师 在他的脸书Facebook “Friends who like 7F Pte Ltd” 有一系列的灵修格言
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灵修格言 by Ps James Lee 李科宏牧师 mind-mapped by Lim Liat 14 Oct 2023 All + All -


by Ps James Lee


mind-mapped by Lim Liat

14 Oct 2023

  • + - 认识真理

    Know the Truth

    • 23 真理不能使人得自由, 只有遵行真理的人得享自由
    • 12 人类因不认识历史而败亡
    • 22 神迹奇事能振奋人心, 不能改变人心。
    • 29 七个颜色是立约彩虹 少了一个颜色是匕首
    • 30 懒惰的人总觉得自已比他人聪明
    • 92 平常犯小错误, 却不肯说“对不起”, 一旦出现大错误, 才说“对不起”, 那时候的“对不起”已经没有功效。
  • + - 生命与人生

    Meaningful Life

    • 71 个人, 生意, 信誉破产, 家庭破裂, 根本原因是:对人生命的意义, 和价值观严重歪曲所导致。知道生命从那里来, 往那里去, 就能找着生命真正的意义, 和正确的价值观。
    • 7 渴慕是生命危机的自觉, 是更新必经之路
    • 8 等候若无目标, 等于等死
    • 33 破坏生命与塑造生命,出自同只手
    • 74 被人羡慕, 心中会有美妙的感觉。 若是迷上这感觉, 常陶醉在其中, 至终将散失自己生命的意义, 会活的很辛苦。
  • + - 爱是什么

    Love is...

    • 1 爱是世上最大的能力, 是上帝赐给每一个人的礼物
    • 2 爱与被爱, 是人生最快乐的时刻
    • 5 爱在缺乏沟通下开始脱节
    • 25 能力可以制服人,唯有爱心使人服从
    • 27 同理心是在乎体会而非理解
    • 65 同理心是一种对美德的知觉, 由善良的心, 怜悯的心, 和情感智慧, 组织而成。只要有愿意学习的心, 就可以拥有同理心
  • + - 人格的修炼



    • 11 发现生命盲点需要亲密的朋友;勇敢克服盲点需要靠谦卑的心
    • 28 谦卑的品格出自敬畏神的生命
    • 20 谦卑的品格会生出美好言行举止
    • 21 成功经过谦卑的门才算完成
    • 13 固执的人, 寻求个人的心愿, 喜爱独处, 因拒绝大智慧而受到损伤
    • 36 固执的人, 只懂得寻求个人的心愿
    • 16 有理并不能支持无礼的态度
    • 17 他人犯错不能成为你犯罪的理由
    • 53 习惯是培养出来的, 停止喂养不良嗜好, 恶习自然消失
    • 72 想要创业, 先认识自己内在七个领域的度数:自律的高度, 谦卑的深度, 承受压力的韧度, 观察力的敏捷度, 承担责任的强度, 团队的包容度, 果断的速度。
    • 73 尊重, 可以用在对人, 对大自然, 对场地, 情境, 是一个人的认知, 和修养。 可以借着教育, 自修, 提升尊重的深度, 高度。尊重的反面, 不是无礼, 是幼稚。
    • 99 被冒犯, 误会, 被诬告, 诬害, 心里受创伤的程度, 层面都不一样, 处理的手法也不一样。唯有一样, 不能失去的, 就是保持自己的纯正。
  • + - 志向与心志

    Aspiration & Will

    • 59 明知道目前的生活作息习惯, 若不及时改过, 五年后, 将会为自己的健康付出惨重的代价。不是缺少知识, 乃是缺乏心志。
    • 60 增广知识有管道, 增强心志有渠道。 先要有目标, 加上行程规划, 天天练习, 天天越过挫折感, 水到渠成
    • 84 年龄大小与心志大小, 要有正比, 年纪增长, 心志增强。凡是有益健康的, 促进家人关系, 应该作, 能够作, 可以作的事。不要年龄增长, 心志像小孩。
  • + - 信心与信任

    Faith & Trust

    • 3 信心是做对的事, 知识是把对的事做好
    • 4 用信心想神要成就的事, 用知识想人要成就的事
    • 10 信心是把认识神的知识,化为经历神的体验
    • 9 祷告带来新启示, 信心带来新鲜事
    • 31 信任是一切关系的基础
    • 32 信任工作能力vs人品有如玻璃vs钻石
    • 58 诚信度是信任的指数, 不守承诺, 是给诚信度扣分。 溯本求源, 改造自己, 为过去的失信, 逐一认错, 悔过, 家能团圆。
  • + - 祷告


    • 9 祷告带来新启示, 信心带来新鲜事
    • 14 当一切都失去功效, 祷告仍然有效
  • + - 情绪的管理



    • 24 感恩是对付抱怨的疫苗
    • 49 只要加强感恩的心思, 就能提升快乐的指数。
    • 45 感到不耐烦时, 走出自我优越感的思维, 心境自然变的广阔
    • 81 气话容易引起反弹, 且带有杀伤力。在说气话之前, 先说出心里的感受, 可以减轻反弹力, 和降低杀伤力的强度。
    • 98 气话带给听者的感受, 都是负面的, 好意的气话, 也不例外。 要说气话之前, 最好是深呼吸, 暂时停止要说的话。 或许, 接下来所说的话, 听者在感觉上会感到比较温和。
  • + - 健康的生活

    Healthy Life

    • 54 睡眠习惯决定了睡眠质量, 睡眠质量决定了身体素质, 改善睡眠习惯, 改善生活品质
    • 67 父母传承给孩子, 先天的基因, 好坏没的选择。 后天影响身体健康的作息习惯, 有好有坏, 决定健康的责任在于你。
    • 68 心理素质, 影响人际关系。体能状况, 影响工作效率。情感智力影响心理, 心理影响体能。家是培育情感智力的温室。
  • + - 友情+关系


    • 11 发现生命盲点需要亲密的朋友;勇敢克服盲点需要靠谦卑的心
    • 47 友人在你面前数落他人, 小心, 下一个被他数落的人, 或许, 正是你
    • 50 羡慕才智才华, 无害! 嫉妒才智才华, 害己!
    • 55 破碎和刚硬的心, 能破坏人际关系, 伤害自己的身体。柔和和喜乐的心是修复关系, 医治身心灵病痛的良药。
    • 56 失恋使心破碎, 仇恨使心刚硬, 会使你陷入苦海。借助宽容和饶恕, 才能够帮助你, 脱离苦海。
    • 77 知道到认识一个人, 是由从外表, 外貌, 到人品, 人格。知道是凭眼见和知识, 认识是完全凭历练和智慧。信任, 所要求的不是知道, 而是认识。结婚, 合资, 单凭知道, 必召损伤。
    • 97 皮肉受伤, 会留下疤痕, 心灵受伤, 会留在心里, 都不会忘记。若是看到疤痕, 想到心灵的伤, 即感到气愤, 这是二度自我伤害。唯有饶恕一切的过错, 才能避免重度受伤。
  • + - 冲突


    • 41 意见不合, 有可能是表达方式的差异, 发表意见的时间, 地点不对
    • 42 有些冲突出于敌意, 有些出于误会, 认清楚了, 才回应
    • 61 年幼的孩子争吵, 用词不多, 不会伤至心灵。 成人争吵, 用词不当, 容易中伤心灵。小心, 谨慎用语, 争吵不伤人
    • 80 意见不同, 看法不一, 不会造成相争。相争是因为心里不服, 强求要制服对方。先制服心里的不平, 可以避免相争, 也许对方也会服气。
  • + - 领导力


    • 15 先有礼让人靠近你, 后讲理让人服从你
    • 37 能发觉下属的才能, 并给予机会发展的主管, 是智慧
    • 38 担心又害怕下属超越自己的主管, 是在断绝自己的前途
  • + - 挫折与困境


    • 40 路是人走出来的, 要想走出困境, 听听走过的人, 怎样说!
    • 51 挫折, 困境, 是对心志的考验, 多思考坚持下去, 必然胜出
    • 52 宣布失败时, 不要忘记, 同时候, 宣布新的将要开始
  • + - 美好婚姻


    • 19 夫妻关系间的信任好比空气中的氧气
    • 43 性格不合而离婚, 赢了一场官司, 输掉一个家
    • 44 与配偶相处常感到不耐烦, 不及时治疗, 接下来的是生气, 冷漠, 分离
    • 48 说配偶笨, 等于在说自己笨
    • 46 夫妻之间的爱, 包括去发掘配偶的美好, 并在言语上给予表示
    • 57 夫妻关系不能再有激情, 或许是彼此信任的户口已经严重破损。 重建信任度, 才能化解危机。
    • 63 婚变的征兆, 冷漠, 疏远。婚变的起头, 不满, 厌烦。婚变的主因, 隐瞒, 失信。坚守真诚, 感恩, 尊荣, 婚姻质量保证不变!
    • 82 夫妻争吵, 重提旧事, 意思是旧伤没有得到痊愈。为了避免二度创伤, 关系受到严重破坏。最好立刻休止争议, 想尽办法治疗旧伤, 可挽救婚姻。
    • 86 恋爱时期话题, 若是围绕着吃喝玩乐, 工作, 娱乐。缺乏探讨人生意义, 人生愿景, 家人相处之道的婚姻, 根基不稳, 经不起诱惑, 挫折。
    • 87 同居, 试婚, 是不尊荣的文化。婚前性行为, 是不尊重双方的身体。 失去彼此尊荣, 尊重的价值观, 容易发生婚外情。
    • 88 婚外情, 不是一时的冲动, 是有一个过程。婚外情, 不是被诱惑, 是在寻找机会, 满足自私的欲望。婚外情, 是破坏家庭的邪恶力量, 万万不要靠近。
    • 95 恋爱中的情侣, 由于拥抱心中的憧憬, 面对冲突时, 总是采用正面, 积极的思维。憧憬一旦破灭, 关系也随着断绝。若是婚前婚后, 都能坚守心中的憧憬, 凡事心平气和, 坦诚面对, 许多问题都能迎刃而解。
    • 100 情侣发展感情, 从友情到亲情。好些夫妻, 婚后有了亲情, 忽略了友情。友情是夫妻美好关系的绿州, 必须好好经营。
  • + - 家庭与亲子关系

    Family & Parenting

    • 6 爸爸是男人伟大的称号;妈妈是女人伟大的称号
    • 18 照顾年老的双亲是件荣耀的苦差
    • 26 欺骗家人是在破坏家庭的和睦
    • 34 家不能没有人 没有家人的家不是家
    • 35 家里不能没有的是良好关系不是wifi
    • 58 诚信度是信任的指数, 不守承诺, 是给诚信度扣分。 溯本求源, 改造自己, 为过去的失信, 逐一认错, 悔过, 家能团圆。
    • 62 向孩子怒吼, 威逼, 大声责备, 是在发泄情绪, 不利于管教。 后果是两败俱伤。先管好自己的情绪, 后教育教学。
    • 64 抽烟, 嫖赌, 嗜毒, 危害生命, 破坏婚姻家庭, 是心理病, 同理心已经枯死。激活同理心, 才有希望脱离险境。
    • 66 物质, 嗜好, 朋友的引力, 超越家人情感的亲密力, 会伤害到亲情。要维护家庭, 必须调整优先次序。
    • 69 父母正面, 积极的情感智力, 建立孩子健全的人格。 负面, 消极情商的父母, 是造成孩子人格被扭曲的推手。 先有问题家庭, 才会有问题儿童。
    • 70 一个手掌, 五只手指, 各有所长, 不争排名, 有所需要, 自然到位。 向手掌看起, 家是手掌, 家人是手指, 家里有所需要, 家人到位。
    • 75 父母管教孩子本是出于爱, 要孩子们受益。 父母动机好, 管教的作法也要对, 更要紧的是, 要懂得孩子接收爱的方式。
    • 76 父母彼此间的互动, 影响孩子心灵的成长, 也影响孩子的前途。 争闹, 冷漠家庭的孩子, 容易情绪失控。 温馨家庭的孩子, 不容易情绪化。孩子的未来在父母的手里。
    • 78 想行善, 想作恶事, 心里都会愉快。一旦心里愉快, 就会产生力量。 同样的, 很少想着为家人行善, 爱家的力量就退化, 枯萎。 多想为家人行善, 家越来越美满。
    • 79 一个专属个人, 值得被记念, 要感谢父母的日子, 叫生日。 这一天, 最重要的事, 就是报感。
    • 83 孩子不与父母分享心里的话, 不是孩子的沟通能力出了问题, 乃是父母与孩子沟通的方式出了问题。父母懂得成为孩子的朋友, 沟通就不成问题。
    • 85 父母不合, 互相拉拢孩子, 要孩子选边站, 彼此数落对方, 是在撕裂孩子的心。父母爱孩子, 请停止这错误的作法。
    • 89 夫妻为教育孩子, 因方式不同起冲突。只要敢于承认自己有不足之处, 就能化解冲突, 也能更有效率地教育孩子。
    • 90 心理素质, 影响一个人的生命。家是培养健康心理的温室。婚姻家庭破裂的孩子, 容易感染心理疾病。医治心理问题的孩子, 需要的是和谐的家
    • 91 心理健康的孩子, 在学业, 事业, 到建立家室, 一般上都会平稳渡过。 要避免偏重于学业成积, 忽视了孩子的心理健康。心理健康的价值, 远超越任何物质上的产值。
    • 93 孩子长时间在外流荡, 不喜欢回家, 不等於他们不爱家, 或许是, 父母的争斗, 已经将家变成战场。只要父母停止争斗, 孩子也会停止流荡。
    • 96 “后悔生你”这句话, 可以毁了一个人的生命。要严历禁止, 绝对不可出口。万一失口, 必须立刻承认错误, 收回。若是, 曾经说过这句话, 也要认错, 收回。