09 June 2021

How to have joy in this depressing COVID-19 Locked Down? Part 2

 In How to have joy in this depressing COVID-19 Locked Down? we show how to have joy through getting together by making conversations with the right people. This post gives more details on how to have joy with conversations.

The Additional Details from the Six-Stage Advice:

1. Harmonious Joy. - There are no suspicions. Good fortune.
The purpose of any conversation is to build relationships and harmony. So, begin any conversation with respect, acceptance, and kindness. Start with a smile.
2. Trusting Joy. - There are confidence and trust. Good fortune. Relationships must be built with trust - authentic conversations. Be truthful and real. No ulterior motive to manipulate nor cheat.
3. Externally derived Joy (Happiness or pleasures). -Don’t rely on external things to have joy. You will be addicted and end in disaster. Externally derived pleasures suffer from the law of marginal returns - needing more and more to get the same amount of kick. Watch out for flattery. Develop inner security and not seek people's praises and acceptance.
4. Deciding Joy - A made-up mind. Forget about seeking joy from external things and decide to build joy from within. Start having authentic conversations to discover ourselves and others. Others know us better than ourselves.
5. Joy betrayed. Trust with watchfulness. Not everyone is trustworthy. Betrayal kills joy. Learn to discern truth and lies. Be careful what we say to others. Our words could be used against us.
6. Attracting Joy.
Don’t be man-pleasers and lose your own identity. It will never get true joy. Be a pleasant person but have your own identity. Don't lose your own identity and values just to please others, especially our bosses and those with power. They can read us well and our insincere flatteries will only despise us further in their minds.

The six stages are progressive. What begins with a good intention of building harmony, when we are not careful, the conversations will degrade over time. It is so much more interesting and easy to fall into gossips about others than to have real conversations on the real issues of understanding one another better.

Wishing you the very best to have conversations that build you and your friends up. Leave every conversation with a good feeling and improved relationships.

Lim Liat (c) 9-Jun-2021

08 June 2021

How to have joy in this depressing COVID-19 Locked Down?

The ancient Chinese Wisdom book, called i-Ching, the Bible of & for Change, tells us how.

Hexagram #58 兑卦 The Joy of Togetherness shows us how.
1. 兑 is about exchanging ;
2. Heart 心+兑 exchanging =悦 joy
3. Speech 言+兑=说 talk

Interacting and conversing with one another brings joy.

Ancient Chinese tends to equal 说 and 悦
Hence, the right kind of conversation, or conversing rightly, brings joy.
The hexagram gives us the following advice:

Check if your conversations contain such ingredients:
Joy comes from a strong principle-centered inner life (be your true self) and a soft and supporting exterior (be kind and speak with respect).

- It is a positive inner attitude that brings hope and joy to others. (How do people feel after talking with you?)

- Joy is about togetherness. It enables people to overcome hardship and life-threatening challenges with confidence and vitality. (Are you encouraging and helpful?)

- Learning and growing together bring joy. What wisdoms are being shared?

More details are given the six-stage lines which we can cover in the future.
So, though physically we can meet, we can still converse over Whatsapp, Zoom, etc.
Start your conversation with the right people and speak rightly as above advice. Have fun, joy, and learning.

Lim Liat (c) 8 June 2021