27 August 2012

The Persuasive Dialogues for Being the Best Lawyer or Salesman from Gui Gu Zi

The purpose of dialogues is about discovering the intentions, to differentiate truth from lies, to gain common understanding and agreements, to persuade and to convince others our view points, to ensure executions are done rightly. Whether you are a lawyer, salesman, teacher, politician or just a leader to get things done through people, you need to master this skills of persuasive dialogues from Gui Gu Zi. It begins with having your own clear stands, a worldview of how things should work, a net of discerning and evaluations, then a tool sets for dialogue, to listen, probe, and raise challenging questions, to empathize, to touch the heart and to form a close relationship.
Chapter 2 of the Book of Gui Gu Zi is titled "反应", translated, in "Reaction or Response". But in reading the whole chapter, I find a more descriptive title should be "Persuasive Dialogues". It is about how to convince others to accept our point of view. But convincing others begins with having our own stand and worldview, and to listen first, then to ask the right questions, to understand others first. Stephen Covey's 5th habit of "Understand first to be Understood" resonate well with Gui Gu Zi.

The is the Mind-Maps that Give the Details.

The first secret is "无形", without shape. Our intention cannot be made known first, else we shall be getting the answers we want or be manipulated. We can do that at the end when a partnership is to be formed. But "Without Shape" does not mean without principle or just do whatever. Gui Gu Zi gives a list of guidelines on how to probe to discover the truth, the set of measures for comparisons, the attitudes needed, and so forth as shown in the map.

The Details for the Dialogue

I shall making changes in the future as I gain better understanding and shall be simplifying the map to make it clearer. But in the meantime, I hope you like and learn from what is shown in the map.

Previous: Chapter 1 The Original Spin Doctor - Gui Gu Zi on Open & Close.
Next: Chapter 3 Progress Comes from Getting Your Proposals Adopted - Gui Gu Zi C3 Shows Us How

For more Chinese Wisdom see Ancient Chinese Wisdom

Lim Liat (C) 27 Aug 2012

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